Tuesday, October 11, 2016

National Coming Out Day

Ladies and gentlemen. I have something very interesting today. The subject was started a couple of months ago by pretty inconspicuous posts (Post 1, Post 2), but I feel like today I need to expand the subject and make it a little more personal. Why? Believe it or not, today is the National Coming Out day in the United States and I am about to "get out of the closet" to all of you who care to read.
For quite some time in the past, especially in middle school, I was clearly against homosexuals. Not because I met any homosexual, and not because I had anything to back my position with. I heard something, I read something... and it seemed like an abomination, and clearly a sin. Then, probably in high school, I challenged what everyone's been saying about it. You can hear plenty about Sodom and Gomorrah and how it was all homosexuals fault... yet, after some digging I found certain websites proving that at the very least Sodom and Gomorrah is not about homosexuality (here's the full article that gives and explains 6 quotes presumably about homosexuality). I quickly realized that I actually do not care if you are straight or gay. What you do in your bedroom at your own time is absolutely your business. Why should I care?

Now… why do I talk about it today? Am I gay? No, that's not the message today. If you read previous posts you might have noticed a word "asexual." That is exactly who I am and why I decided to make this announcement. The previous posts were supposed to just start the subject, give you an idea of who I am. This post is supposed to put the last nail.


What does it mean to be asexual?
Homosexuals feel sexual attraction towards the same gender (i.e men to men), heterosexuals feel sexual attraction towards different gender (i.e women to men). Asexuals do not feel sexual attraction to anyone at all. You might be beautiful, you might look better than Scarlett Johansson, or Tom Felton, you might be my girlfriend whom I love more than anything else, but it does not change anything. I still don't want to have sex with you. I don't need it, I don't think about it, it is not my life goal.
Some people see a beautiful girl on the street and turn around to look at her from behind thinking "I'd hit that" (or something similar depending on your slang). Some people see a handsome man and think "oh, I'd love to feel those hands on me." Asexuals look at them and think "Ok. And?"
It's like with a doughnut. We all had a doughnut at some point in our lives, right? Most of us probably liked it too. Well, people who are sexually attracted to other people can be compared to people who really want to eat a doughnut. They see some doughnuts just standing there, waiting for them, and they want them. Asexuals look at the doughnuts and think "oh man, I would really prefer some cake now."


Questions and Answers
Below I'm just going to give you a quick Questions and Answers session. Those are the questions gathered from the internet and from some of the conversations I had over the past few months. If you have a question that is not listed below, or you feel like my answer is not satisfactory, please feel free to ask me.
  1. Does it mean you are unable to feel love?
    1. Please refer to THIS article on difference between sexual and romantic attraction. Just because I don't want to have sex with my girlfriend (or anyone else) doesn't mean I don't love her.
  2. Are you just secretly gay?
    1. No.
  3. So maybe you are just confused?
    1. Not anymore.
  4. Do you have health issues? Problems with ejaculations? Maybe something is actually hurting you while you're having sex?
    1. No. My health is in perfect condition. Thank you for your concerns.
  5. Does it mean you don't like physical contact at all?
    1. There are some asexuals who like sex, there are some asexuals who hate sex. There are some asexuals who like kissing, there are some asexuals who hate kissing. There are some asexuals who like holding hands, there are some asexuals who hate holding hands. Being asexual doesn't mean I don't like holding hands. It only means I don't feel sexual attraction.
  6. How do you know you don't like sex?
    1. Because I had the questionable pleasure of trying it. I was sweaty, tired, and bored. Do you know how many things we can do instead of having sex? Imagine how many books you could have read in your life instead of having sex!
    2. How do you know you don't like hugging a cactus?
  7. Is it like celibacy?
    1. No. Celibacy is a choice not to have sex. Asexuality is a choice as much as being Asian is a choice. We don't just wake up and say “You know what? I'm going to be asexual now.”
    2. Here is a nice little picture about it
  8. Is it caused by a trauma or childhood issues?
    1. Maybe. Maybe not. There is absolutely no scientific, proven data to back this claim.
  9. Does it mean asexuals cannot fully satisfy us in a relationship?
    1. It depends on what you're looking for in a relationships. If you're looking for actual love and commitment then yes, we can absolutely satisfy you in a relationship.
  10. Are all asexual people the same?
    1. Are all straight people the same? No, right? Please refer to the article about romantic orientations to see how we differ from each other.
  11. So, do you even find other people attractive?
    1. Yes. I do. I notice your face, I notice your shoes, I notice what you're wearing. I'm just not interested how good you are in bed. No matter how amazing you look like. You can look like Charlize Therone or Tom Hiddleston, and whilst I would love to look at you the whole day, I have absolutely no desire to go to bed with you.

If you would like to know more about Asexuality, please follow links below:
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